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Steps to professional success.
Everyone wants to be happy. But what do we need for prosperous existence? There are a lot of aspects of a good life. It`s a united family, true friends, an excellent health. But the main side of life is a job. So, how to be a successful employee? There are eight steps of a professional success.
The first step is a definition of work. You need to understand that it is your job. If you don`t realize that there is your job that you do, you should hurry up with the decision that you`ll make after consider the question about your feelings at work. Carefully evaluate statements that give to us and try to understand for yourself what do you feeling: the idea that you`ll go to work oppresses, there is not any hints of career`s growth, work has become routine and boring, you often think about leaving, self-confidence diminished, days stretch very long, you don`t feel any respect to the manager of colleagues and there is the same feel from them.
Step two. What is the ideal job? If you think about your career seriously, you`ll need to imagine the best work for you. For solving this problem I propose to do a schematic portrait of your ideal job. It requires an absolute honesty. Draw three intersecting circles and call its “Skills”, “Interests” and “Personal qualities”. The idea is to choose items that will be in your work.
The third step is associated with modern technologies. Make a high-tech your friend. Don`t forget that we live in an age of high technology and rate of its development is increasing.
Step four. Do precise goals and don`t leave your path. Ask yourself a question every month how do you progress towards your goals.
Step five – the personal opinion. Be able to express your opinion. Learn how to choose the right moment to present your idea, don`t forget to make sure it works and be receptive to the ideas of others.
Sixth step is a policy of behavior in the office. Try to avoid a dangerous game called “office politics” because it often distracts people from the immediate duties and does a lot of troubles.
The seventh step is doing your work with the mind. Don`t try to be an employee, who last leaves the office. Concentrate your power on getting a better result. Be confident in your own success and others will believe in you.
And the eighth step is that success must be earned.
In conclusion I want to say that success don`t favor people who are lazy, frivolous, foolish and untrustworthy. Be sincerity with yourself and your wishes and success will be with you.

Проверьте вот это:

«Carefully evaluate statements that give to us
and try to understand for yourself what do you feeling:»

1) смысл «statements that give to us»,
2) конструкцию «what do you feeling».
Вы много потрудились, но проверить на ошибки невозможно. Или нужнооставить всё как есть (в одном «стиле ошибок» , или всё переделывать).
Основная проблема вашего сочинения — не нужны заумные фразы — нужны простые идеи и простые слова. Вы пишете через перевод с русского языка, пробуйте писать сразу на английском. Аккуратнее пользутесь словарем, нужное слово и его перевод найти непросто.

Заглавными буквами мои правки, что в скобках ваше — для сравнения)

MY Steps to RREACH professional success.
Everyone wants to be happy. But what do we need TO LIVE A HAPPY LIFE (for prosperous existence)? There are a lot of THINGS THAT CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE HAPPY (aspects of a good life). YOU NEED TO MAKE A LOVING FAMILY, (It`s a united family,) true friends, an excellent health. YOUR JOB CAN ALSO MAKE YOU HAPPY OR UNHAPPY. (But the main side of life is a job) IS IT EVER POSIBLE TO MAKE A SUCCESSFUL CAREER OF AN EMPLOYEE? ( So, how to be a successful employee?) I SEE EIGHT STEPS TO MAKE A PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS. ( There are eight steps of a professional success. )